The one thing that would make my daughter happier
It wasn’t making the top club team, like I thought.
One question drives the results of the annual World Happiness Report. My 10-year-old’s answer to the question was unexpectedly profound.
The World Happiness Report hinges on a single question
"On a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 represents the worst possible life and 10 the best possible life, where do you stand now?"
When the 2025 World Happiness Report came out I took advantage of time I have shuttling my two kids between after-school activities to see where they would land.
My 7-year-old immediately shouted, “10!”
Thinking she misunderstood, I clarified: “10 is the top—everything counts. Even when I tell you to clean your room or say no to more candy.”
I caught her quizzical look in the rear-view mirror as she doubled down. “10!”
After considering her sister’s answer and my explanation, my 10-year-old chimed in.
“It’s a 3 for me,” she said.
On the inside, I panicked.
This is a huge difference! Do we parent them differently? I knew that club team placement was getting to her, even though she said it was fine. “Fine” is never “Fine!” I should have let her play over the winter like she begged me to. I’ve already ruined her life and she’s not even a teenager!
On the outside, I kept calm.
"Can you tell me more about that?"
She struggled to keep it together as she delivered the punchline, "Because then if I fall, I don't have as far to go!"
She and her younger sister laughed and laughed at the joke.
My oldest then revealed her true number—9—after making sure we couldn’t move to Florida and live in Disney World.
“That’s really the only thing that would make it better,” she explained.
Giggles continued from the backseat as they discussed how amazing it would be to live inside a Disney Park. In the front seat, my mind was spinning again.
At what age do we start trading in the view near the top for perceived safety near the bottom of the happiness ladder? How often do we unconsciously limit our own happiness by focusing on what might go wrong? How many times have we held back from fully engaging in life for fear of disappointment?
I dove deeper into the 2025 World Happiness Report for some clues.
Finding 1: Family size is associated with happiness levels
According to the report, "happiness is nurtured in relational spaces and the family is at the heart of these connections." According to the data, a household size of about four members—like mine—is associated with higher happiness levels.
Useful knowledge for the next time our daughters argue over bathroom counterspace. It’s also something to keep an eye on as become young adults and fly from the nest.
Finding 2: Sharing meals together impacts wellbeing
Further confirmation for the research my colleagues and I did years ago when putting together a marketing communication plan for Family Meals Month. About 1 in 4 people in the U.S. report eating all their meals alone.
Getting everyone to the table for dinner is easier said than done. Even when we manage the feat, the kids often eat and run out to play with friends or get back to a show on their tablet.
Recently, however, my husband discovered a secret weapon to keep them at the table: UNO.
We started playing high-stakes UNO at dinner. We play it out and the loser does the dishes. We’ve been playing for several months and it’s just as exciting as day one. We joke, we team up, we pile on, we enjoy each other’s company. Because our kids are pulled out of their element for longer than 10 minutes, the stories of the day start coming out, too.
It’s nice to know we’re doing something right, even if we can’t move in with Mickey and friends.
Finding 3: Good deeds pay you back
While the report explored how a rise in individualism and isolation negatively impacted happiness, I’m going to focus on the positive here. Countries who were more likely to participate in “prosocial behavior” like donating, volunteering, and helping strangers, had fewer "deaths of despair" (suicide, alcohol abuse and drug abuse).
The science is clear on this: caring for others makes us happier too. So next time you’re feeling overly anxious or down, try doing a good deed.
Caring and sharing aren't just nice ideas, they are essential to happiness and wellbeing. I particularly loved this line in the report: "shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half sorrow."
We will fail. We will have sorrow. Failing or experiencing grief with loved ones helps us get through and rise again.
A final note on comparison
When I heard about the World Happiness Report in the news, I immediately wanted to compare the U.S. results to everyone else to ensure I was living in a happy country. I also instantly compared my daughters’ responses to one another.
Interestingly, my kids didn’t ask for the world rankings or even ask me what step I think I’m on. There’s a lesson to be gleaned from this insight, too. Comparison is the thief of joy, but the instinct isn’t as natural as we think.
Where do you stand?
On which step do you currently stand on the happiness ladder? Where would you like to be?
What would 10-year-old you have to say about it?
